- A bicycle cant stand alone because it is two-tired
- What is the definition of a will? (Its a dead giveaway).
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
- A backward poet writes inverse.
- In democracy- its your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
- A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
- If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
- With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
- Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
- When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
- The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
- You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
- Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
- He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
- Every calendar's days are numbered.
- A lot of money is tainted. Taint yours and taint mine.
- A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
- He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
- A plateau is a high form of flattery:
- The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
- Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
- When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
- Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
- When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
- Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
- Acupuncture is a jab well done.
- Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
- We do not stop laughing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop laughing!
-- courtesy of Morgan Williams (Hinterland Voice)
And...
Imagine a puddle waking up one morning and thinking, 'This is an interesting world I find myself in, an interesting hole I find myself in, fits me rather neatly, doesn't it?
In fact it fits me staggeringly well, must have been made to have me in it!'
This is such a powerful idea that, as the sun rises in the sky and the air heats up and as, gradually, the puddle gets smaller and smaller, it's still frantically hanging on to the notion that everything's going to be alright, because this world was meant to have him in it, was built to have him in it; so the moment he disappears catches him rather by surprise..!
. --Richard Dawkins, Eulogy for Douglas Adams - author of the "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
If you have any similar contributions of your own, why not email them to me and I will happily add them to this list.....
Last revised: May 21, 2007